The End of the Month Nears and I Have Fallen In Arrears

Times are tough and I am not one to complain or make things negative, but by following my American Dream I have gone into a nightmare. Today I had to warn my family that people may be looking at our house in a suspicious way, a sellers way. I have been negotiating with my mortgage company to get a modification of my loan, which has gone up beyond my ability to pay and have been turned down and led on for months. Now my house has gone past two months delinquent and I am about to go into 3 months, which may mean foreclosure. I received a letter telling me that I have to allow people to inspect my property, which means they would be calculating the value on the open market if they took the property back and resold it to recoup their loan. All bad news to me, but a harsh reality to my wife and kids. There is no real plan that will allow me to cut my expenses any further to the point that I can pay the mortgage and keep my business, so now is the time of desperate action.

As a fixation that distracts me from my real problem, listed above, I have been compulsively making brick projects trying to come up with a combination of materials and style that will magically put my house back together again. It has been like alchemy in that the combinations of one thing with another does make interesting compounds that seem like a magical material, but none of them are gold. I can even make yellow bricks, but I have not made a complete road to follow that will solve my financial problems. I have manifested my problems into my work, I have dreamed of the things that could somehow merge these ideas, but every morning when I wake up I get the same fateful call from the mortgage company, "Your modification is with the underwriters and we will contact you when we have an answer".

The worse scenario is if they keep requesting documents, as they have over and over again. I am losing my ability to satisfy their demands. I am losing my ability to work on my day job. I am losing my ability to do anything except make bricks in new and different ways.

Let me assume that my dream of the bricks somehow paying my mortgage was realized, what would that mean? All my work would be created to pay interest on my loan. Would I be able to accept that as payment for my efforts? Whoring my work is my only way to insure stability for my family in order for them to get to the next step, which is to go to college and or for my wife to be able to finish her efforts to have a successful career. The nightmare continues because even success on paying my mortgage is a complete compromise to sell out my work in order to pay the bank for a few more days.

Artistic compromise is acceptable in many ways because my work has been compromised from the beginning. I think I like the current work in that it is an obvious compromise and a non-sequitur of my efforts. I make bricks to save my home, I make bricks because I cannot make artistic expressions, I make bricks for others to see my exterior, I make bricks that can be used for shelter in the event that I cannot save my home, I make bricks that can cover cardboard so that I can build a new home, but my bricks are not real bricks. The bricks are veneers of bricks. The bricks are images of bricks. The bricks are fake.

I can reach almost any point I want to make when I use a brick as a metaphor. I can make almost anything I want to make when I use a brick to build with. Defying the dimensions of what a brick is, is a challenge. Throwing a brick through the bank window would be a joy. Sticking a brick on the wall is the most I can accomplish.

A brick: A brick is a block, or a single unit of a ceramic material used in masonry construction, usually stacked together, or laid using various kinds of mortar to hold the bricks together and make a permanent structure.[1] Bricks are typically produced in common or standard sizes in bulk quantities. They have been regarded as one of the longest lasting and strongest building materials used throughout history.

I took this definition from Wikipedia and accept it for all it says. There is no reason to tear apart the definition of a brick because it is a word that fits it's definition. A brick is everything that art should be but isn't. A brick is not art, because it is a brick. It's very name is a compromise and it's existence is but for others, for shelter. Yet it is, "regarded as one of the longest lasting and strongest building materials used throughout history." Over the centuries we have poured our existence into our shelters, yet we cannot make art that exist more than a few centuries. I reference this not because of the need for permanence, as all mountains will eventually fall, but because of the need for more and information and a truer understanding of ancient values.

If our societies are living on an edge, as the media constantly reminds us of, to the point that we are mere subscribers for the sake of existence, then why haven't our predecessors conveyed their epiphanies in such as way that we are not continuously oppressed as a population, or that we have to be in a metaphysical trance to comprehend a set of ideas? Is it that we only comprehend metaphors when we are under the influence of religion and booze or drugs?

I have taken on the opinion that artistic representations of past cultures activate nostalgic instincts that may allow us to empathize with past generations, in the same way that looking at an old photo of a family member reinforces the idea of heritage. If a person is not told that a photo is of a family member then a large difference in perception would exist. If a person is told that the picture is of a family member then a sense of communication with the non-existent may commence. The details of an image of a family member would be analyzed in a completely different way than if a photo is shown to someone who they do not think they are related to would have.

These feelings and comprehensions defy analysis but are artistic in nature. These types of information transfers between generations are acceptable manifestations of communication between generations. The question is what do we want to tell the future? What have we learned in the past that should be conveyed to the future? Why aren't the lessons clearer to us so that we can avoid being oppressed? Why didn't they write in brick?

Sticker Bricks - Acrylic vs. Epoxy vs Ink Jet Stickers

I have been working with adhering materials to vinyl sticker paper, which is a difficult surface to attach things to, and found that I can add some layers of adhesive acrylics that will work like a gesso on the vinyl sticker paper. This then allows me to screen print or attach molded veneers to the sticker paper. My motif for the designs to use has once again been brick patterns.

My earlier batches of stickers have had some time to weather outside and certain reinforcements haven't panned out to be successful, like rice paper or other paper based backings, because they continue to warp the shape of epoxy. I did find that reinforcing the epoxy with fiberglass created an excellent stiffness in the final stickers, but it does add some weight, work and cost to the final product. I like the idea of making extremely strong durable stickers with epoxy and fiberglass is an attractive concept, as they could be used to protect sub layers like a brick version of grip tape. The smoother the layer is that the vinyl sticker is going onto the better, but always the edges would be somewhat exposed if it is being used to cover an object, like cardboard or a screen.

Printing acrylic onto the vinyl paper may be the simplest and best application for a sticker and by using a wide mesh screen and a thick stencil I can get a slightly raised effect, although it is nothing like the depth created by using a molded piece and then adhering it to the vinyl. However, it is lighter and easier to make with some level of durability that is built into the vinyl sticker itself. Every time I go to use one of the stickers on an object I realize that it isn't really flat and smooth, so I don't want to waste the sticker on it. The top layer of my silk screens is very flat, but the screens have to be cleaned off from the residue of old ink, so I haven't tried that either. I did experiment with one sticker by covering it with epoxy, but by the time the epoxy dried the dirt and drips made it look much worse that the original acrylic looked by itself. I may just have to break down and use vinyl inks on the vinyl stickers, which is how they are supposed to be made, but I have never been a fan of the smell and cleaning required to use those materials.

The brick panels with acrylic or epoxy can be used as a brick background for other work, like a canvas with gesso, although the epoxy would be much harder paint onto. I have recently purchased some vinyl sticker paper that can be printed on with an inkjet printer, but I am suspect of it's ability to weather without a coating of some sort. That paper is expensive too, but prints on it look great and all of my production techniques can be ignored if something simply looks good. Who really cares if an item has texture these days since stickers are used on thin devices like phones and car bumpers and the thinness of the printed stickers will allow them to bend easily. Just for the sake of argument I think I am going to do a brick pattern on a sticker sheet to compare the ink jet to the acrylic to the epoxy stickers.

Photo Fresco and Screen Painting Materials

After reviewing the work that I found ditched in my yard I had a few glimmers of brilliance as it relates to materials.

1) The screen painting of Michael Jackson was one of my first realizations that I could use the screen as a canvas and I had used acrylic paints to quickly make that piece. The acrylic paints held up pretty well in an outside environment. I washed the picture off with a garden hose before I too the picture, but it was no worse for wear after 2-3 years of being outside. This indicates that the acrylic bonds well to the screens, like the photo sensitive emulsion I use for coating screens and the acrylic bonds well to itself. As an inside material acrylic should be acceptable as a painting material, but in standing water it will turn white and change color.

2) The plaster and gypsum materials held better than I thought inside the frames, better than cement. This is not to say that plasters like Tufstone and gypsum based cements like Duracal are acceptable outside materials, but with a little reinforcement with some epoxy, then they don't just flop out of the frames the way that portland based cement does. Some of the same issues exist with the color of the plaster and Duracal in that with excessive moisture you cannot count on the exterior color with only pigments, they need to be painted, becuase the moisture will allow the exterior color to change or lighten. The exterior coat can be a gel-coat of some more resistant material like epoxy. A sealant can also be added to Tufstone to make it harder by mixing in a glue in the place of water.

3) Thin layers of the plasters can be used, if applied correctly to create a stronger base for the acrylics, and create and insulating and sound dampening barrier. Although I like screen painting for the visual effects, I like to have a thicker structure to support the pictures and to kill the drum like sound that screens can make. The biggest problem is the addition of weight onto the screen and depending on how thick the layer is the weight can be from 3 to 6 lbs. I have been using laminates on the back side of the screen lately to create the exterior shell and this may free up the inside of the screen to remain a screen painting of sorts. Determining the right way to make an exterior shell that isn't too much trouble to connect to the screens has been the focus of some of my latest work, but nothing looks simpler than an nice thin layer of the Duracal for a strong backing simple backing that dries flat when required.

Spiders and Snails live there, why can't I?

Photo Fresco Show - Decay

Somewhere under the leaf stack, snails and spiders hide.
Snails and Spiders can hide under the leaf pile.
Why then, oh why can't I?

I went through a pile of old fresco frames decaying in a pile of weeds and to me this is the equivalent of an art show. I only get to see what has survived through my abusive storing techniques and this provides me with a glimpse of how these photo fresco pieces that I am making will survive. The first most obvious thing is that there are other living creatures usually on the back side of the frames, most notably snails and spiders. Typically there is 1 live snail and 1 live spider. Each frame seems to allow a separate space for spiders to do what they do and I think that the snails just like hanging onto the cement like interior. It is possible that they are leeching something from the plaster or cement, or they just go there to die. Still it is amazing that each frame is like a little eco-sphere.

Some of the frames have images that have decayed more than others, but there is still a ghost image that is possibly more mysterious than the original. Some of the early work that I did in plaster was just a literal transfer of the digital graphic into a piece of plaster, which is where the photo fresco concept came from, but I didn't like the literal copies even though they were a success from the transfer concept. However, now with the weathering and decay, these pieces are buy faint, blurry, barely recognizable images and I actually like them more than the originals. Other pieces that I made are still intact or slightly weathered and they appear better with wear than the original work. I think I like them because they survived more than for the art, but each set or piece represents transitions that have moved me forward in some way technically. In fact some of these techniques may be worth repeating or implementing again.

An example of this is the 6 pound epoxy plaster pieces that I made as a set using acrylic paint and a digital transfer process. Overlooking the transfer process and the embedded image into the epoxy and plaster, I have seen that these pieces are holding in the frame without any additional bonding and the seams appear to be sealed. This is a success in terms of weight and durability, even though that was not my goal when I made those. My goal was to have a lighter piece with artwork embedded in it, that would not fall out of the frame and onto someones head. Also it was to not be as heavy as some of my earlier work and six pounds seems to be lighter than I have been getting lately using cement and epoxy or urethane and epoxy. I remember making these pieces and spending a certain amount of time raking the back of the pieces so as to create a grid that other tiles could be attached to in case I wanted to seal the back further. I don't want to rush backwards and recreate these, but as panel that could fit in the back of the more resistant cement / epoxy brick panels this could work. Or these frames could be mounted on the back side of the other frames and thus form a box with the two sides serving different purposes, but who needs to take up that much space. Still, that is only the amount of space that a standard wall consumes, which is about 5-6 inches deep. Two of these frames would be about 3-4 inches deep, but that seems too simple to me. I like it lighter and tighter than bulky and heavy. I'll post the pictures and call this a retro-show of my early work.

Lastly, the reference to the Wizard of Oz that I quoted above. I have been pulled towards making yellow bricks as both a background and functional color that is lighter than the typical red brick. The symbolism should not be lost if I do go that way as I would like to think of myself as the wizard building yellow brick houses or at the very least I am working behind a digital curtain and this ain't Kansas.

<The complete Decay 2012 Show can be found online here: http://photofresco.com/Photo_Fresco_Show_2012_Decay/Decay/

Sideways Bricks - Fatal Construction

Making epoxy brick veneers that will go vertical instead of horizontal.

I uploaded the previous text from my phone to this blog. It is a little difficult to think and type on the small device, but admittedly, short burst of note taking is all that this blog is. By using the phone I can update post with images that chronicle my experiments without long explanations or justifications. This blog is often drives into deep thought about the work that is redundant and repetitive, just for the sake of mixing up the words just like I mix up my materials. Since I don't think anyone reads this anyway the short phone post with images may be just as good as the longer post about my progress and lack thereof.

Frankly, I need to move on to a new blog that is focused more on my day job, the one that makes me money. I love making these photo fresco frames and developing a lighter and tighter method of mixing materials into art-like bricks, but I have to make money again and there really isn't going to be any significant money coming from this work to pay my bills. The brick structure concept comes into play in the sense that once I am removed from my home and have defaulted on all of my bills, then I can take all of my screens into the woods with my big truck and build a home using these techniques. At that point I won't be able to experiment, so this work will have to be the basis of my construction techniques. I should still be able to pay rent on my storage, where my excess supply of frames are, in the catacombs of hell at the end of the earth. I will travel through hades and grab load after load of screens, then buy the cheapest materials that have proven to be successful at building these curved structures and build.

When I run out of screens I can run ads on Craigslist and collect old frames from other printers around the country, then buy the local materials and find a place to build another structure, and on and on. Fatal Construction.

What does it mean to have a cement sticker?

Let's assume your home is made of cardboard. Then the rain and the snow are your enemies. The wind leaves your structure in tatters and the dew weakens your carefully arranged structure. Now let's introduce adhesive cement stickers into your realm and voila, your cardboard maze becomes a weather resistant structure almost providing a sense of safety and shelter while the wind and rain bounces off the concrete and cardboard walls. This temporary shelter is but one example of the many uses for cement stickers.

Now that there is a potential use for these items the big question becomes how much will they cost? Cement is relatively cheap and vinyl adhesive stickers aren't too expensive as compared to wood, but the process of putting these together is what will take some time and money. Also time is a factor, because it takes a certain amount of dry time to make these materials work the way they should. Cement takes 2-4 days to dry and Epoxy takes about 2 days, so a little more than a week would be necessary to get production rolling on a batch processing system that can produce laminate cement stickers. The best part about this is that corporate logos could be molded into the cement to pay for the process, Why Not? Beer, Wine, Crack Inc., 47%, or something like that. Adhesive stickers can make a box a home and why wouldn't companies want to make a difference. This may be the missing link between homeless and not homeless, if only there was a way to get indoor plumbing on the streets. Flooring is an issue, but that can be worked out pretty quickly with a little indoor-outdoor astro turf on top of cardboard and the deed is done.

Still a vinyl sticker can be just as good as cement without all the weight. Vinyl stickers would adhere to the cardboard better than anything and the top surface itself is resistant to water, so what's the big deal with cardboard, just sticker that shit and most weathering problems are solved. Cardboard may be the missing link for providing support inside my panels without adding much cost or weight. I have been resistant to using foam even though it is light, but cardboard has a different ring to it since it is not a common building material. I like using potential waste products for building materials and card board is a readily available material that if protected from the weather can provide a form of support.

Dimensional Stability in an Adhesive Backed Label

Sounds simple doesn't it? Making a vinyl sticker to begin with isn't easy. Screen printing on vinyl requires a special ink that stinks, however, over the years I have been using a multipurpose ink that seems to work pretty well. Still when you think about things like dimensional stability a vinyl sticker isn't one of the strongest things on earth, even though they are used on vehicles all over the planet. Since these stickers are going to be protected by cement on top, the biggest issue is the adhesion to the sticker below. I made a sticker years ago using a mixture of resin and eventually it peeled off leaving on the white sticker below, so to make a good vinyl sticker with something other than just ink I am going to need to bond the top layer in a way that insures that both pieces expand and shrink together.

I have been testing many substrates that can work to keep epoxy from bending and warping and regular fiberglass seems to work the best versus some other fiber based materials that increase the amount of bending as they bend themselves. My testing has led me to create a vinyl based sticker that has a layer of fiberglass adhered to it thereby creating a strong bond between the sticker and the stable layer. One half of the fiberglass is left uncoated, the top coat, so that it can be saturated with epoxy when the brick layer is adhered to this as the substrate. Assuming everything stays together then the sticker layer is then applied to any surface that it will bond to. I am hopeful that the strong bond made with epoxy to cement will keep the top layer adhered to the cement and then the cloth layer will help keep the stability in tact between the epoxy and the sticker. The multiple layers are potentially problematic, but the thickness of each layer can reduce the amount of movement that goes on in regular shifts in temperature. The thinner each layer is then I think it will bond better versus thick layers and the most insulating layer being the top layer is providing a safety layer that keeps the lower layers from moving as much and from being exposed to water.