Is there a general assumption in life that it all works out in the end? The great equalizer is death, but is there any suggestion that somehow all of the struggles in life will somehow be actualized through death? I must say that there is this sense of death-actualization that isn't necessarily religous false hope. It may simply be the fact that you don't have to deal with life's day to day bullshit once you are gone and that somehow all the things you did mean more once you are dead and can't do anything else anyway.
I am fitting in this sense of false hope that surrounds me with the environment we live in and with my own efforts to make money and create things. Underlying each new project I sense a value towards reaching a goal that is not clearly defined. There is no guarantee that these things fit together, but there is a sense that one thing will prove another and that I must continue my work. I am surprised at how each project has ended up fitting with each other, but that may simply be my own projections and rationalizations of my efforts. The same false hope I see in the economy is what I feel in my work, that somehow it will make sense and achieve a goal that will make sense in the end. Why I should believe this or allow this to be my motivation is the question as I am begining to feel like it is a trap.
Much in the same way that we are trapped in our economic realiities I may be trapped in my own manufacturing cycle of doom. My investments are always in the next piece, but I never quite achieve what I am after. Before I complete any project a new twist or turn makes the last project seem immature and pointless, except that it was a stepping stone to my current project. I have reached a new level in my work, but I am without a sense of completion in that I have not pushed this work out of the incubator that it was created in. I must do that next, but I don't want to fixate on finalizing a task when I am not sure of the relevance of the techniques.
Let me assume that the economist and predictors of our well being no more than we do about the future of our prosperity. I have a dark understanding and feeling that our culture of consumption has been and is being exploited, but our exploiters are also in trouble now that we have reached a peak of consumption and productivity. Basically if our keepers are competing for a reduced amount of consumption, then by taking what they can from us before their competitors can is the only way to find closure for themselves. What this means is that we, the consumers, will be pushed to the brink of destruction while being fed delusions of false hope. Eventually, as the sages of the economy know, the system will no longer be able to support the weight of itself without significant growth.
We are witnessing the collapse of one government after the other in the Middle East and don't be misled to think that Democracy is the goal or the result of the events that are unfolding. Economic disparity is stoking the fire and change is only happening because the people en-masse have nothing left to lose. I do not feel that we will be that far behind in the United States. I don't want to complete my own work as it seems to beg for a new rationalization on how things are good, when they are not. I feel the oppression and it is not as obvious as a government tyrant, but more like a socially acceptable medical condition that has us all wishing for better times. The symptoms are the sickness and only defiance is the cure.
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